CHOOSING A GUARDIAN

Guardians of minor children are “nominated” in the Will by the last parent to die. Guardians are typically “nominated” rather than appointed because the courts will give preference to the nomination but are not bound by it. If a court determines that the best interest of the child would be better served by another choice, they need not heed your suggestion. However, while the nomination of a guardian is not a guarantee, it does allow you to give the court guidance, which it will use to make its determination. If all other things are equal, the court will heed your advice. 

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Nominating a guardian for your children is the most important – and, in many cases, the most challenging – part of the estate planning process. Here are some factors that you should consider when choosing a guardian:

AGE

You need to consider both the age of your children and the age of the potential guardian. If your kids are young, you need to select someone who will be emotionally and physically able to care for them in the long-term. While a grandparent may have the best emotional connection, they may not be able to make the kind of commitment necessary to raise your children to adulthood. On the other hand, it’s also possible to choose a guardian that’s too young to handle such a large responsibility. Therefore, it’s important to consider both the age and emotional maturity of your guardian candidates.  

PARENTING STYLE, RELIGION, AND VALUES

Every parent has differing opinions on discipline, education, and even curfew. Therefore, it’s vital that you take these things into consideration when choosing a guardian. Ask yourself what’s most important to you in terms of values and religion, and then assess whether the guardian you have in mind shares those views. If you’re unsure, ask them. You might be surprised by their answers.

STAGE OF LIFE

Think about the stages of life your potential guardians are in. Are they married or single? Are they likely to get married or divorced? Do they have their own children, and if so, are yours likely to fit in? If they are single now, is a future spouse going to be supportive of their guardianship? What about their career? Are they married to their job, or close to retirement? All of these factors will have a tremendous impact on your children’s lives, so take your time and choose carefully.  

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LOCATION

Sometimes we underestimate the effect of a location on our everyday lives. But, where a child grows up has an enormous influence on the person they become later in life. Things like neighborhoods, school systems, and nearby relatives seem like obvious variables when thinking about the location of a potential guardian. But what about less obvious factors like climate? Moving from a warm climate to a cold one, or vice-versa, can be a big adjustment for a child. It is also important to weigh the likelihood of frequent changes in location. Will the guardian have recurrent moves or job changes? In some cases, this is impossible to predict, but nevertheless helpful to consider.  

RELATIONSHIP

It’s not necessary for your chosen guardian to be a blood relative, but it’s best if they are at least familiar to your children. If you have never seen this person interact with your kids, how will you know what kind of parental role this person would play with your kids? It would be much easier for both the guardian and your children to grieve and adjust if they already had a good relationship with each other. Obviously, in rare cases, it is necessary to choose a person who is distant from your family. This option should be exercised only as a last resort. It’s important to note that even if your children are particularly close to one aunt, uncle, or friend, remember that this person would potentially fill the role of parent, not best friend. So be sure to keep all of the other considerations in mind as well.  

WILLINGNESS

Speak to all of your guardian candidates before you make a decision. After all, having to assume a guardianship is a life-changing responsibility, and not to be undertaken lightly. Although, in reality, it’s unlikely that your chosen guardian will need to fulfill that role, it’s important to secure their consent before naming them.  

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FINANCIAL POSITION AND RESPONSIBILITY

An important part of the estate planning process is making sure that your loved ones are provided for financially. Ask yourself whether your chosen guardian is financially stable enough to raise a family. Do they have problems hanging on to money? What are their spending habits? If you have doubts about their abilities to manage finances, but you’re convinced that they would make the best guardian for your children, you may want to consider talking to a qualified attorney about Trust provisions that can make this easier.  

In addition to discussing your wishes with your chosen guardian, it is recommended that you and your partner write letters of intent for your children. These letters can vary significantly, but most people use the opportunity to describe their expectations and hopes for their kids. A letter can be a much more comfortable format for expressing these desires than a verbal discussion, and it also serves as a permanent record. It is recommended that individuals update their letters of intent yearly or bi-yearly as their circumstances evolve.  

Whether you have several guardians in mind or just one, it’s vital that you weigh each and every variable to determine if he or she is the right person to care for your most valued treasures: your children. 

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